Happy Valentine’s Day! Get love where you can… even if you have to pay for it… which is what V-day is for any guy in a relationship.

Ladies, this is how guys feel about today…

1: flowers = they die, waste of $$$.

2: box of chocolates = 5000 calories of more of you to love.

3: Romance = it’s kind of like going to the opera for us… we zone out the whole time and clap when everyone else claps. (Not really sure what I mean with that, but I make sense to me)

4: Poetry = everything inside us dies a little when we attempt it.

5: Going to a fancy restaurant = Trust me, where happier going to McDonalds.

And men everywhere do this every February 14 with one reason in mind… to get laid. So when your man shows up with a box of chocolates, and some flowers. And the card inside has some crappy poem about how much he loves you. And you go to a fancy restaurant, and he romances you all evening, telling you how beautiful you are, and how he could spend the rest of your lives together… the only thing going through is pea sized brain is… <Drum roll here> the thought that he might just get you naked tonight... Enjoy ladies, because the first 4 hours were going to be bored out of our fucking minds. So for the love of Pete! At least let there be a happy ending.

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